im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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