Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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