I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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