I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
