chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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