Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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