This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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