GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
