I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
