I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
