a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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