ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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