You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
