i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
