My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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