Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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