If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
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She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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