Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
