If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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