dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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