How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
