Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
