Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
