i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish i was in the wii world.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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