I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
