Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
