To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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