Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
