Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
