bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
