Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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