Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
