Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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