you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
