Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
