would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
