I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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