Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
