she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
