he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Are my feet made of real feet?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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