and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
