see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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