onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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