just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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