Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
