dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
