Nicole vs. Life
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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