so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
