tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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