Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
