Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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