3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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