I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
