I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
