bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
