I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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