Where is the hickey?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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