did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
