I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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