Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
