ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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