Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
