It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
