I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
