I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
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Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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