Me. At least after what I've been through.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize